Topics include: programming, Apple, Unix, gadgets, large-scale web sites and other nerdy stuff.

Larry and Me. And Scoble.

2007-12-19 21:47:57

The other night I had a bizarre dream. I had to go to California for some reason, probably work related. But my family came with me, which never happens. There was this restaurant we went to that was supposed to be really good. It was either a sushi place or a burrito place, the dream kept changing it. The interesting thing was that the restaurant was owned by Larry Ellison, and it was popular both because the food was good and because a lot of tech industry celebrities ate there.

Larry was there at the restaurant, and it turns out that he's this totally evil guy with weird powers. Specifically, he can switch his mind into your body, and put your mind into his. He came over to our table and I was nervous because he's, well, you know, Larry Ellison. A badass rich guy who knows Kung Fu. Then all of a sudden he does the mind switch thing on me and I'm looking at myself, and Larry-as-me is giving me this shit-eating grin. He takes off and leave me (in his body) with my family.

Then I'm trying to explain to my family that it's really me and not Larry Ellison, and they don't even know who the hell Larry Ellison is, because my wife is a physician, not a programmer. And my kids are, well, little kids. So they're freaking out, I'm freaking out. I'm wondering what the hell Larry is doing with my body, and getting really pissed off.

The I look a across the restaurant and see Robert Scoble at a table by himself, banging away on a laptop. So I think, fine, Larry is screwing with me, so I'll screw with Larry. I walk over to Scoble in my Kung-Fu-knowing Larry body, and introduce myself, though I never really get to beyond "Hi, Robert, I'm..." and then he's all effusive and shaking my hand. Then I tell him that I LOVE his blogs and all the stuff he writes, and offer to talk to him about Oracle's secret plans. I start yammering on about how Oracle is going to buy Novell, Palm, Tivo, Sling Media and start competing with Apple. And how we're going to start shipping database hardware with preloaded Ubuntu. All the craziest shit I can think of.

Then I'm back with my family, and we're all freaking out again that I'm Larry, and I'm trying to explain to my 3-year-old that it's me, but she isn't buying. Finally Larry comes back and I grab him (me) with my (his) Kung Fu grip and make him switch our minds back.

I've been reading Valleywag and FSJ too much.